The leafs of the clover fall one by one
by Kanae92
Summary: More than 3 years have passed through her eyes. She runs a big pottery business now but that doesn't make her forget the days which she so dearly holds to. A call from a man she never thought to hear and an surprising trip make her past come to test her.
1. Chapter 1

**After watching all the second season, the live action and the movie my head started spinning with ideas and I just couldn't resist writing some fanfiction about mayama's, Rika's, Nomiya's and Yamada's relationship. I came out with this funny idea and eventhough I would love to make a Hagumi, Takemoto, Morita fanfic my head couldn't go that direction. Oh well! I hope you like it and review!**

**Prologue **

**Meeting again **

"Hi" talked the girl anxiously while holding with one of her hands a small green handbag and playing with some keys.

"Hi," he replied with a depressed voice and lighted up the tenth cigarette of the morning, "You heard the news didn't you?"

"Yes, Morita told me," She nodded and there was a deep silence after. He slowly opened the door and told her with his hands to come in but she stood still looking directly at his eyes, "Look, I'm sorry."

_X_XXX

_Walking around the streets, she could observe the pretty scene winter brought once again. Snow fell with gentleness giving the city a pale tonality but washing away the year that was just going to pass. Crowds of people came running from here to there, in a big rush to buy the things needed for Christmas night. The black scenario was decorated with big and small lights of all the colors that could exist but mostly the atmosphere was built with certain happiness. _

_Even though the air was cold, not even a pair of gloves or the big raincoat could stop her from rubbing her hands constantly in search of some warmth. She was also in a hurry but to get something in the convenience store as quickly as possible before all the food was sold out. Her feet made her way through the puddles the snow left and while hearing kids laughing with their toys in hand, people chatting about their night plans and stores offering all types of things, she slightly remembered an image of her university years. _

_Those days she had been selling cakes all night round with her blond haired friend before Christmas and when she knew the convenience store in front of her was getting the lead, Takemoto, Hagu and her had spent all night working on a Christmas decoration some sake and cotton candy for the kids. Those days that went more easily on her than now, were she was found making pottery for prestigious companies and families so had barely time to breath._

_Those days that her only obligation was to make some bases for Harada and Fujiwara design while taking care of her dad's sake store. Definitely, life had changed a lot for her and it had been more than _

_three years now that she had to move to Osaka were she was requested frequently at her job. A local business that had grown over time and kept her absorbed these past few years. Usually she had taken a break three years ago to visit her parents and friends in Tokyo but every year that passed, it was harder for her to visit her hometown. _

_It was more difficult to get a break these times so she got in touch with them through phone calls or messages. Not even 15 coworkers were enough to help here with the load of work she had and now that she was recognized internationally for her works, demands around the world were sent each month. _

_She sighted with relief when she got to the store and greeted the woman who was in the register with a warm smile. _

"_Merry Christmas Yamada -san" the woman replied while taking of her glasses, "I saved something for you before everything was sold." _

"_You're too kind, thank you very much," she vowed and took out some money from her pocket to pay, "Wow, its meat, chocolate cake, sushi and onigiri? I'm really thankful, Ashida- san." _

"_I saved you all this since the stores will be closed tomorrow and your fridge will be at least half full." _

_Seeing how people treated her, how the city welcomed her and how her business was growing, she had nothing to regret about her decision. This city also made her forget the doubts and the uncertainty she had back in the university. She was really happy indeed. _

_She then when to a beautiful park located two blocks away from the store, found some nice place to sit and started eating some of the sushi the woman had gave her. Before she could finish it, her cell phone rang and she was surprised to see an unknown telephone mark her at this hour. _

'_It must be Nomiya calling from Tottori again.'- She thought a little bit nervous. _

"_Hello?" She said, expecting the voice of the man she thought so hard about this past few months about._

"_Hello Yamada?" A different manly voice answered through the line, after all these years he was calling again? _

"_Morita?" she asked quite surprised, "When did you get to Japan?" _

"_Just a few days ago. I'm here with Hagu and Hanamoto sensei right now." Hagu chan approached the phone and greeted Yamada san with a merry Christmas._

"_In Tokyo?" She smiled and ate a little bit more, "Merrimu Chrustmas." Her mouth was filled with food. _

"_Where is Takemoto anyways?" she continued after gulping all her food so she could talk well._

"_He is working near Hokkaido now," He laughed, "He is coming in around these days to visit."_

"_Is that so?" she laughed too, "I think he will be more tanned that when he came from his soul searching trip."_

"_Are you going to visit us?" he asked with excitement, "If you do I'll eat your food for free!" _

"_Huh?" she said a little bit annoyed. At least she had improved her strange cooking, "I can't go…I've been so full of work and-" _

"_Nomiya is going to visit you isn't he? You don't have to hide the fact that you want to hang out with him better than us." He mocked._

"_Cho-chotto matte!" she stood up of the chair and screamed, "It's not like that Morita and-" _

_He interrupted again "We really need you here Yamada. Something bad has happened."_

"_What?" she asked now more concerned than angry._

"_I'll wait here for you, please come soon! Bye!" He hanged as quickly as possible._

_--_

**It really doesn't matter to me if there are little readers for this series a just enjoy writing so any review if with love received hahaha!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

_What's happening? _

Just two days ago she received that strange call back from Morita san, and after hurrying with all her might to go to Tokyo in one way or another she ended in a plane to a far away country she had never visited, by force. Or was it that she was blackmailed? Yamada blackmailed?

Of course she had her motives to stay back from going there and even when she tried to refuse; Morita had used psychological methods to make her understand. He promised to follow her along with Hagu, Shuu and Takemoto a few weeks later when he had arranged everything about her in Osaka.

It was her first time on a plane for so long so to calm her rage and nervousness she ate and drank till she almost dropped dead, but not even that could prevent her from staying awake all night which was rare because after drinking 1 whole bottle of sake she usually fell asleep.

What to say? What to do? Damn she didn't even know the reason for morita's playful tactics for her to find out! She cursed herself for returning to Tokyo but laughed for a second at how fun this felt again.

"_That idiot!" She argued while holding the telephone on her hands. He had now spoiled her hunger and her happiness, bringing back the stress she had worked so hard to relieve for tonight. "Now I will really have to go to Tokyo." _

_Without even noticing she got over excited and went running to her apartment in order to fix some clothes and make some calls regarding her work. She left in hands of one of her best co workers all the power to choose over the designs and control the business for some days that she was going to be out. If the problem got bigger she would have to be absent for a few more days and he will have to put with it by raising his salary and hiring a few more experts to replace her. She gave him her phone number and told him to call her if there was any kind of problem that needed to be solved. _

"_Thank you." Was the last thing she said and turned off the lights of her apartment. Deep in her heart she was looking forward to going back to those leisure days but was soon going to find they were not going to be _that _relaxing as she expected. _

_She checked the train schedules and took the first one that arrived from Tokyo at 1:00 am. Ayumi bought some books along the way to read but due to her mind being in another place, she couldn't concentrate on a paragraph for 1 minute. Most of the trip was spent watching the midnight landscape around the station or buying some energetic drinks to stay awake until 4:00 am in the morning when the train finally got to her destination. _

_Yamada wobbled out of the train and observed once more the buildings that rose high into the sky, smelled the particular air that only Tokyo had and ran like hell to Hanamoto's sensei apartment when the fog started to thicken before sunrise. When she finally got to the elevator almost half dead for excessive exercise, she rang the bell for what it could seem an eternity and nobody responded. _

_She tried calling, no one answered. After half an hour of persisting on the door, she sat down and fell asleep on the floor ignoring the fact that it was in the hallway. _

"_She really did come." The man whispered while tip toeing to her side and carrying her to the house. "Shinobu you idiot!" she said in her dreams and the man only laughed out. _

_XXXX_

Ayumi raised her arm to stop the light from coming to her face. It was so damn annoying staying on the door waiting all day for those guys to come in the freezing floor just outside their apartment. Where were they anyway? Her hands started to look for the pocket in her raincoat but she couldn't sense the soft fabric anywhere in her body. Then she started gaining consciousness of her surroundings and felt there was no floor, she was lying down a comfy sofa. Her blue eyes went wide open and she stood there trying to recognize where she was.

There was a large window in front of her, making all the sun strike with astonishing subtlety that she felt at home right away. A big brown table at her left with some papers on it and two doors on her right. A big painting stood on the back of the table with a known Japanese scenery that took your breathe away. Almost instantly she remembered moments from far away days and she could feel those voices coming back to her head. For a moment her eyes saw everyone sitting on the chairs while celebrating Christmas together. She saw Mayama's back in front of her and say Takemoto sitting right next to him laughing along with Morita who was eating and Hagu- chan offering food to a picture of Hanamoto sensei while they cried out.

She was back, she really was back. Her eyes started to fill with tears and she knew there were more nights to come when she would cry around them. So shameful to cry helplessly yet so sweet to come back to see their faces again.

"So you woke up Yamada," a voice called her from behind, "you drooled all over the floor."

She turned her head and smiled at the two companions leaning on the wall, "Morita, Hanamoto sensei!"

She stood up as soon as she could and hugged Shinobu washing his shirt with endless tears, "I'm so glad to see you again" Both smiled and one of the two doors located at the right slowly opened to show a little girl of blond large hair standing with a blanket.

"Ayu!" she screamed with happiness and gave her a hug, "Welcome home."

Seconds after Shuu found himself around a bunch of crying girls, "Hey Morita why are you crying?"

"It's contagious!"

XXXX

Time passed ever so slowly, with the sun shinning happily through the windows making fun of him. The only thing he could do to relax was smoking and drinking a cup of coffee in order to keep him awake for any improvement in her condition but there wasn't anything they could do. Was it his luck or was it that when life wanted to grant him a little bit of happiness, for when he thought it was his moment of glory, everything came crashing down on him?

The work was by all means suspended and he was in no mood to call any body at his aid or to tell them the news that everyday spiraled downhill. He could not support her in any way since she wasn't even hearing him; all she did was to stare at the window eternally.

When would this all end?

XXXX

"What the hell are you asking me to do Morita?" she almost choked while drinking the cup of tea Hagu had made her.

"Don't be too bad on me Yamada, I'm just asking you to go to London to take this to some person I met there," His eyes cried for mercy, "Pretty please!"

"You think I'm crazy? And you haven't told me the bad news yet for that's what I came here for," She was going to kick him sometime soon, "I don't have time for this stupid joke or whatsoever."

"Then sign this," he took out a paper out of his pocket and handed her a pen, "If you're not going to go sign this!"

She detailed the paper and rose and eyebrow in suspicion, "Okay but promise me that if I sign that you'll leave me alone."

"Yes!" he replied while shoving the paper on her face, "Now sign."

She took the pen with her hands and signed with pleasure. He was going to leave her alone, anyways why didn't go by his own?

"Okay," She answered by handing him the paper and taking a sip of her tea.

"Okay, now you can't refuse to go to London!"

"WHAT THE-"she was now really choked and Hagu -chan went to her rescue by rubbing on her back softly.

"Let me explain, you _have_ to go now even if you don't like it" His mischievous grin scared her already but that didn't keep her from punching him.

"I'm not going even I you kidnap me!" Ayu was now boiling with rage and preparing her hands for a long bloody fight.

"It's like this," Shinobu talked calmly while dodging her attacks, "While you were sleeping I found in your raincoat a letter from Nomiya that talked about some plans of you marrying him and another letter you haven't send to him agreeing to his proposal."

The woman stopped suddenly and blushed to the tip of her ears. Hagu thinking about the consequences this could have went to call Hanamoto for help. There was going to be a really good fight going on, "S-S-SHINOBU," her faced looked directly at him, "YOU'RE GONNA DIE TODAY!!"

The guy just laughed and continued without noticing the strange black aura that the woman poured out of her body, "Since I knew you weren't going to agree to my humble proposal, I made you sign a false paper that will be send-" a punch went right to his face and Yamada pulled him closer with his shirt to strike the final blow.

"Will be sended to who?! She screamed.

"That will be sended to you father saying that you have married Nomiya without his approval or his assistance to the ceremony."

"Damn!" she threw Morita's body against the door Hagu and Hanamoto were just opening, "Please stay out of this Hagu."

"Fine then, I agree," Ayumi finally talked after some minutes of silence, "But please give me those cards again." She went red and some tears fell from the rage.

"Yei!" Morita stood up happily forgetting the blood in his nose and took Yamada's arms to dance around the room, "You made your daddy happy!"

"p-plea-please give me back my cards" was the only thing she could repeat while watching morita dance with her.

XXXX

Nobody knew about the ''bad news'' he had been told and he didn't want to tell Ayumi what they were really about because he knew that if she knew about them, she would not encourage herself to go to a trip to Europe for a very long time. It was blackmailing the only thing he could solve to get her out of the country and even though it was painful for her he was having just a tiny bit of fun with the idea of seeing her taking care of him.

Hopefully, after the plane landed she was going to get the idea of what was that all about and Hanamoto sensei, Hagu and Takemoto would know too. But later, just later.

XXXX

"Give me a break," The woman said while resting her hands on her knees to catch a breath, "I've only arrived to Tokyo yesterday and you're taking me out of the country already?"

"You had the whole day to rest Yamada," he too was tired of running all day to get her tickets in the airport, "and stop complaining about going to another country for free!"

Ayumi laughed, "For free? You threatened me to come here!"

'_Stupid cards' _She thought while blushing.

"See it through good eyes. Who is getting free air tickets, free hotel and money to deliver just one little box?" He raised his hands up on the air to continue as if praising the heavens, "and you are going to rest for the next week that comes to have your own private time," Now he starts eating a curry bread he took out from her purse, "Take that as my marriage gift."

"That's just too good to be true," she pouted, "are you seriously going to give me all that for free?" Yamada shoved the guy onto a seat for interrogation, "or are you going to ask them for me to pay it later?"

"I wool not du that to one of mu best friends, would i?" Shinobu said while eating.

"I don't even know what you're capable of," She rolled her eyes and sat on a chair next to him with her arms crossed, "Why do I have to make this for you?" Yamada glanced at the huge window that stood before them and observed the planes that arrived late at night with amazement.

"Cause you are the only one who can do it, simple," Morita's face turned and smiled, "Don't worry I will take care of your business before we follow."

"D-Don't you dare," For one second she thought about morita making pottery with his face on the plate and ruining her business, "That's just scary."

"Yamada you're too insensitive. But you called someone to replace you?"

"Of course I did!" She sighted, "He is good without you anyways."

They were silent for a moment and stared at the people walking, "Promise me you would come to pick me up."

"I will! I Morita Shinobu will come to pick you up after finishing one work," He took out the tickets from his pocket and handed them to her, "I Hope you have a nice trip and remember by all means to not throw that box away. Your future depends on it."

That gave her the creeps. She gulped and started wobbling. What if she was going to be used in some weird kind of experiment or…or she could be really kidnapped or she could get lost with no one to save her in a foreign country? "Ahh Morita," she took one of his hands, "I hope you're telling me the truth."

Before he could answer, her flight to England was announced.

"Passengers with destination to London, England please board line #30"

"Well I guess this is good bye." He clapped his hands and got up taking Ayumi's purse and making her follow suit.

"Good bye Morita see you soon." Yamada embraced him for a moment and started walking to the big line people made behind her flight while the air hostess checked the tickets.

"Passengers with destination to Valencia, Spain please board line #29."

"Wrong way Yamada!" Morita laughed behind her back and shoved her to line #29. "Have a nice trip!" he said while waving her good bye.

"HEY!!" She said trying to get out of the line but it was so crowed she could not pass by. "I'm not going to-"

The flight attendant interrupted her screaming by taking her shoulder, "Miss, excuse me you're going to Spain aren't you?"

She stammered, "No, I'm going to E-England Mis-Miss"

Ayumi's head turned to watch Morita and insult him in her mind. He laughed out loud and took out a copy of Nomiya's and her cards trying to say indirectly that if she didn't go in that plane she was going to be killed by her father.

"Please give me your tickets," the woman insisted and took them softly from Ayumi's hands, "Welcome to Continental airlines I hope you enjoy your flight. This way please." She replied by showing the way to the girl and giving her some note, "This is yours."

"T-Thanks" Was the only thing that could cross her head at this instant and stood on one side of the entrance to see if she could catch a glimpse of Morita again but he had already escaped. She then proceeded to make her way to the plane and opened the note slowly.

_Have a nice trip to Spain Yamada! _

_PS: open the box when you get to the plane _


	3. Chapter 3

Hello!!!! Before I start the chapter I want to apologize for taking so long. Since my school has a bit of complexity with homework, it was impossible for me to take time but today I vivaciously found some and well here I am! Thanks to **Fallenmad****, ****Twitz****, ****kamui-chan -Ho**** and ****SportsMakeMyWorldGoRound**. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be able to continue the story I had put my efforts on and I hope that from here on, you keep liking my story. This chapter had a lot of references from Valencia and even though I have never placed feet in Spain I tried to give you detailed information! Do not doubt to express anything you didn't like, I will kindly find a solution

Take care,

Kanae

**Chapter 3 **

**Far from Heaven **

It was a couple of years ago when she finally attained the figure of the red haired guy as the past which so bitter memories had left on her lips and her body. She could still recall when the time was eternally stopped anytime and anywhere she had the slightest thoughts about him, and now, as a consequence, she was too self conscious that she had regained the liberty and the autonomy when the chains had slowly been broken over time. The only thing that made her go on was the fact that all desire was replaced by guilt. The guilt he had pounded over her and when the time came, there was nothing more left than the ashes of one love that could not be replaced, flowing by and making her start from the very beginning.

Everything had to be reconstructed again and sometime, while drinking her morning coffee she couldn't handle the unexpected thought of being able once more of obtaining happiness. Brutally irresistible were the hands of the one who helped her out of the hole and that now, held her tightly to his side, and made her a refuge she could no longer refuse. But that crumbled at the solely idea of having to confront her past again. Nevertheless she was unable to tell a thing about it, and even if she could she didn't have the time and never thought the circumstances led to something like this.

Ayama found it difficult to maintain her view out of that tiny white wrinkled paper on her lap. She went over it ten or twelve times and even though she could understand perfectly, there was no way in hell she could be trapped like this. Only once in a life time had she be cheated on and that was in high school, when she accidentally got trapped in a muddy school affair with some girls and had to take care of their chores for a whole month until she learned to defend herself. The rage was coming constantly in and out of her body as he pleased and fed up with the "nice trip" written in the paper ,she sighted in despair.

Her hands lied down and went up covering her head while she repeated out loud in her head the feelings of wanting to clutch Morita really hard and choke him until he begged on his knees for forgiveness. There's no way that you would have a nice trip knowing you were obliged to!

She then looked out of the plane's window and rested her head on both of her hands.

"Spain, huh?", She remembered the silhouette of the elegant woman near the side of her past love, "I haven't seen him since 7 years ago."

She wasn't afraid of seeing him anymore. Her cheeks didn't go red while thinking of his face and her eyes didn't outburst in tears for his sake. That's right; she had forgotten what it was like to feel her heart pouring out of her as if the same depths of misery had fallen upon her. But he was still her friend and that matter could not change. What was the thing she could only do for him? She was no use seven years ago as her friend and secret lover. What could possibly a stranger of past years do now?

Ayumi placed her eyes on the small brown box beside her favorite book, '_Atonement_'. It was obvious that if Morita didn't inform her of anything before her arrival to Spain, she would make a fool of herself and wouldn't be able to solve whatever problem was ahead. It must have been something worth of making her go on a trip and stay for a week but it made her desperate the panic that arose inside her every time she was to touch that container. Above all, she had to open it and why not do it now so she could confront her fears?

Prepared she rubbed her hands a dozen of times and slowly opened the lid. She wasn't surprised at the little post-it that appeared as it was conventional for the things coming from Morita.

'_That genius…" _

"I knew you were biting your fingers to open this box before the hour!" Gosh, how could he perceive her movements with such clarity? After all there was nothing that could stop her from eventually receiving the announcement and after placing aside the post-it, Yamada was able to appreciate a silver gorgeous container with embossed leaf decorations in copper. It seemed just a few years old but it kept shinning as if it had been bought on an antiques store totally new. For sometime, her white hands caressed and her eyes detailed with awe. Apparently, the essential thing was in the interior of the astonishing jewelry case.

When she was about to open the silver case, she could feel some type of paper behind it and while moving aside with extreme care and arranging it on the other side of the big box, she took out by the help of a string a package that brought within a reservation to a Hotel in Valencia called Husa Reina Victoria, a map indicating the major sites in the city, an empty envelope, a bracelet and a cell phone.

Okay, this was getting a little too confusing for her. She new that the hotel reservations were the priority and the map was also but what did an empty envelope, a bracelet and a cell phone have in common? Maybe the silver box could resolve her interrogations.

Taking it again in her hands, she proceeded to open it cautiously and took a little peek before the box closed shut again.

"Don't tell me this has a safety lock!" Morita did make everything impossible, "Eh…Miss, can you please hand me a Knife?" she asked with slight shame to the black haired woman that passed by her side with drinks to offer.

"Sure", she answered a little bit strange at the mess the woman had made with a bunch of stuff on her table, "Here you go"

As soon as Ayumi had the knife on her hands she started forcing to open the box. It was quite a shame to have to come to this type of rude some method but if she at least wanted to know what was going on tonight she had to mess up with the box. As a result, she started to feel anxious and her hard breathing shook her seat companion who was taking some rest while he listened to music and started giggling at the face of the red haired girl. As if by magic, the lid opened wide and she sighted in relief. It was not even a second after she realized the man beside her had pressed a button on the right side of the box and the cover opened.

"Thank you," she excused herself with her cheeks turning red, "It's just that I'm not good on these things" her hands moved frenetically and the guy smiled and placed his earphones once more.

Now able to grasp in her hands a photo she observed carefully at the two main characters sitting in front of what it look like a mountain landscape and posing for the photo. Memories came back to her head.

'_I wonder how this person looks in Mayama's eyes…' She though quietly by observing the gentle woman at the other side of the table, drinking her coffee with such patience, the world seemed to go at her pace._

Those pale grey eyes, her lips subtly curved her brown hair a little bit longer, and her artistic body lying on the man's chest, always transmitting that sense of peace and charming elegance.

'_Does it break his heart waning to hold these shoulders? And to touch those white cheeks?'_

Him, smiling as he held one of her hands and placed the other on a rail with a pale unbuttoned white shirt and with its sleeves rolled up. He didn't smile spontaneously because he was haunted by her presence he couldn't grasp, and now, that she could open her heart to his hands it's as if…his smile finally detailed happiness.

'_I wonder how the breaking of his heart sounds at those times.' _

Their faces were surrounded with a red marker that led with and arrow a bunch ofletters without any possible meaning. "Dih- dat -dit?" She asked herself while trying to figure out what it was and once again, like if she had a strange complex of idiocy, her companion stared at her and laughed while avoiding her glare.

The idea that she knew nothing about Morse code and that Morita didn't say things straight were the two things that freaked her out. But she sighted for the twelfth time in the trip and figured out that until she got the hotel and manage to get some explanation on it through internet; she wasn't going to rest assured.

-----

So the night went by and so did the day, without her mind being to erase successfully all the mixed feelings she had and before she knew it, she ate and read by inertia, forgetting each word her eyes capture in the book or on the journals.

She was dislocated on the space and while looking on the eternal growth of the skies and the clouds she finally heard what she wanted to hear for more than days.

"Passengers, in 45 to 30 minutes we will be arriving to Valencia, Spain. You can clearly see through your windows the Baleares Island." Ayama turned her head with such roughness from the window that she had a slight pain on her neck and clenching her fists that rested just a few minutes before on top of the book, made her look stressed. And indeed she was, not as much as it would have been to bring her to a catastrophic trip like these years before, but the idea of not knowing at least the reason or Morita's purpose, made this a hell of a roller coaster ride.

Before she knew it and it was like if the last part of the trip became a blank screen, she was making a line in front of the other passengers to go to receive their luggage. She usually never gave much time to packing except this time in which Morita had stuffed everything within the last 5 minutes and grabbed her hand so to keep her from any sudden escape. As soon as she saw her black and purple bag float out of the entire luggage's suspended on an electric line, she got hold of it and observed for any instruction placed on the walls or on the big TVs.

Where to go? Excellent question for she had no idea of Spanish and her English was lacking clear pronunciation. She repeated every night before watching English movies on television that she had to practice because there was going to be a day when she had to be able to hold a decent conversation, and even though, she never thought it was going to be so critical here!

Confused, exasperated and overwhelmed she sat on a chair and stood there for nearly three hours watching people pass through her, when she felt the hunger attack her stomach and decided to go out of the airport and find her way. It was on that same instant that she remembered she had a map to hold on to and when she opened it, Ayama clearly saw that at least Morita had taken enough time to outline the principal touristic centers, airport, the hotel and Mayama's house.

If she went to the hotel now, she could find out about the news and then go to Mayama's house but she knew that by that time, she wouldn't want to. If she went directly to Mayama's house instead of going to the hotel, she had no idea of what to wait and what if she suddenly interrupted the couple's day off? No way could she stand in the way as before. Or maybe if she took some time to rest outside in the city after calmly eating her lunch and then went to Mayama's House? That was the best out of the two. So by making her way through the Valencia Airport she got a taxi and with great difficulty she transmitted the idea that she wanted to go to the city, located 8 kilometers away. Deep down she felt more at ease and was capable of feeling the rays of the sun in her face and the gentle breeze thrown over her when she opened the window. It was not too long until she knew she had entered the city.

Constructed from various influences along history, Valencia still maintained that fresh contemporary and cosmopolitan air. As every city it had numerous buildings but the one's that caught her attention were the ones that rose up from the ground in gothic architecture and gave a sense of grandeur and obscure simplicity her eyes never delighted before. Despite everything she was too pass these days without the tools necessary, she could feed and please her view every time she wanted.

The taxi driver then interrupted her thoughts and looked at her while saying some strange words. She only understood the last two.

"20 Euros," She looked in her green handbag and found a lot of cash. She took the 20 one out and vowed while getting out of the car, "Grac...ias" was the only word she got to repeat in Spanish and received a quizzical smile from the taxi driver before he drove out of her way.

She turned and saw ahead what they used to call Plaza de la Virgen. One of the most pleasant parts of Valencia she had seen until now.

Pigeons had found the center of the plaza a comfortable place to be and as the wind grew, she had the privilege to see them fly towards the sky in big groups, giving to the whole landscape a poetic meaning. By walking leisurely and dodging some of the pigeons she though she could harm, she stood in front of one of the eight bronze statues around the grand fountain that symbolized a woman holding a jug in which water poured out. Each of them had different positions in which they held a jug, some carrying it over their shoulders, others taking them in their hands and the other placing it under their feet. In the center of the entire fountain laid the big statue of a man resting upon the waters, with a hallucinating Greek style and underneath him poured an immense quantity of water that fell upon the feet of the eight women, passed to the lower level and sustained the whole system.

But to her surprise this wasn't the only thing that took her breath out. The basilica standing some meters away from the fountain, mixed with Christian and Muslim ornaments gave the whole square a meaning of the being taken from a far away time and she thought, that by night she would come here again to only watch the stars make a sublime picture of it all.

She decided to take one of the 5 routes out of the square after having enough details in her mind and stopped at a café to take her lunch. Definitely, she could understand the feelings of Mayama wanting to stay and it not mattered really, that she was going to face him around the hours to come. It was surprising how delicious the coffee and the sandwich she tasted that multiplied her enthusiasm and when the afternoon was to strike with the orange painted dusk, she decided to turn into the direction she had come here.

It took more than an hour to arrive to her destiny and while looking for something to distract her hands with, she went to the third floor as the map indicated and gave a huge breath before going on. When she passed through the streets she remembered she had a little present for Mayama she brought from Tokyo and hesitated to give it to him at a time like this. Her hands trembled and the keys she had started moving as quickly as they could.

"Room 316, room 316, room 316,"She muttered as she looked at the platelets on the doors and stopped when she had found it.

Her eyes glanced to the side so she could observe for the last time the dusk and pressed lightly on the metallic button hearing the sound that it made on the other side of the room. It was then when she suddenly felt the steps of someone and a long silence after. The time gave a rapid turn and before she noticed, the door went wide open and she could observe silently the figure she had not seen for seven years.

Ayumi had to do something. He just stared at her a little bit surprised but his eyes could not wash away the pain his soul was in. Furthermore, he seemed in such a careless state that a little bit of red beard in his jaw and chin could be seen. It was not that it didn't look appealing; it was just that she didn't expect to see him too grown. She had mostly forgotten that seven years also changed the people's appearances.

"Hi" She managed to say after an exceptional silence and her lips curved as she held tightly to her, the handbag and played anxiously with the keys.

"Hi," he replied curving his lips in a unique matter and taking out of his shirt pocket a box with cigarettes, "You heard the news didn't you?"

The news, the news, the stupid news she knew nothing about! In vain could she ask something about Rika since all the lights were off and she was nowhere to be seen. The only option she had was to play as if she knew indeed, "Yes, Morita told me."

Again there was a silence and the spark taken out of the lightener gave a better detail of the lines of maturity in his face. Surely his hands didn't change much but he seemed in character a totally different person. The smoke from his mouth was slowly taken out and without loosing sight of her eyes giving an unspoken language that he was also contrasting her, he opened the door so she could enter and once again she apologized without acknowledging the reason behind, "Look, I'm sorry."

He curved his lips again and took hold of her black bag, "Come on in."

It was when she entered the room she could clearly see that there was a feeling of desertion in the house. Surely Mayama was an organized guy and everything lay where it had to but it seemed like everything stood there for ages without any proper cleaning or care. There wasn't any spot of light, only the one coming from the door and the kitchen, so she could afford to hit herself with some desks and chairs. He by his side was in the kitchen, in the right part of the apartment preparing some coffee while she by her side, looked for some furniture. To the left side to what seemed a white long sofa were some white long curtains that remained untouched as everything in the house. Consequently Ayama stood up as fast as she could and stared at them thinking if it would be good to open them. As stipulated, she wasn't able because she saw his silhouette coming to her side and she went to sit at the sofa.

"Thanks," she said as soon as she received a cup of coffee, "Congratulations on your new house. Well actually it isn't but anyways it's very big and-"

"Why did you come here on a time like this?" He interrupted her and took a seat on the sofa in front of her.

"You mean for the Christmas part?" She rose and eyebrow in surprise of his body, "Let's just say I was worried about you."

"It was Morita wasn't it?" He took a sip of his coffee and then placed the cigarette on his mouth, "He was the only one who found out."

"Yes, but that didn't mean I didn't wanted to visit you," Her eyes avoided watching him; "After all, it seems you need some help here." She stood up drastically and went to the curtains finally opening them.

"Don't do it!" His voice claimed out loud and while throwing in a table the cup of coffee, he went to her side and closed them again, "Don't ever do that again." He looked at her in an irritating matter.

"I just wanted to give some life to this house Mayama, that's all," She murmured while looking at her hands stopped by his and confused.

"This way is great, Thank you." He pressed harder into her hands avoiding her to make any movement.

"Mayama what's wrong with you. Don't make such a fuss of something so unimportant!" She now understood that she was pissed too and decided to step aside before anything more could happen but was trapped by his hands and started to struggle.

"A fuss of something so unimportant? Don't come to mess with me if you don't even understand the circumstances that surround me!"

Ayama then got to free her hands but was no less than angered and disappointed with his crude way of talking, "I may not, because I don't know those stupid news but you know what?" Her arms crossed and she glared at him, "I think I don't want to hear them now since you are so strong to solve them yourself!"

He looked at her now more impressed at what he and she had said but couldn't speak out a word for Yamada had already turned her back and took clumsily her luggage to disappear from the door, "Thanks for the coffee and the lovely conversation." Was the last thing he heard and was again in the darkness.

She hadn't realized the idea that she was crying from anger after she stumbled through the stairs and out of the building.

Her luggage seemed lighter with her dragging it with tempestuous force through the streets and just when she felt she was away from the building was she able to almost shout, "That idiot!"

It didn't matter if all the people looked at her as a runaway girlfriend, after all she didn't get a thing of their language, and it was the idea that the trip was futile that made her feel powerless. She took out of the bag the map, and walked hurriedly to the hotel. By her way of walking or we should say running, her muscles got totally exhausted and she had to stop for more than ten minutes in a park bench to rest.

She now stared to the black sky and started to wonder how much time had it been since she was eating in Osaka. She felt the urge to return but she was stucked here for a whole week and when Ayumi realized that she was now more tired than ever, she made her way again to the hotel. By the looks, she could only walk shyly to the entrance of such an amazing hotel. With some palm trees in front of the whole Hotel, it gleam a blue light contrasted almost instantaneously with the old 19th century building. It was no wonder the reception made you feel invited with the luxurious airs it exalted and she was sure, that if she hadn't been that angry she would be able to smile at the receptionist.

"Good Night Miss, are you looking to pass a night here?" The tanned man kindly welcomed her in English and look at her in great detail.

"Good nighto," She talked ashamed of her English and took out of her handbag the paper that confirmed her reservation, "etto… I have e resuveration in namu of Yamada Ayumi." The man took the paper and started typing on the computer.

"Oh yeah I see, Is it your first time here in Valencia miss Ayumi?" He wanted to have a conversation with her? And what's with calling her first name if they had met seconds ago?

"Yes." She answered with no intention of speaking more.

"Ok miss Ayumi you have room 17 for yourself, hope you enjoy your vacations here," He slightly frowned and passed her the room keys, "Do you need the butler to take your packages?"

"No, no sankyuu," She waved her hand in excuse and turned for the elevator.

When she got to unlock room 17, she didn't stop to watch it for too long. Of course the room was completely exuberant and the bed was wider than the one she had back at Osaka, but she wanted to keep those things away for now. Beside the blue colored furniture that was at the left side of the bed, she placed her luggage and sat on the mattress while taking her green high heels off to take a look at the television. Taking off her brown shirt and her green skirt, she went to the drawer next to the right side of the bed and rearranged them. She headed to the bathroom located on the right side of the door and opened the hot handle of the bathtub. She waited there, watching her nude figure on the mirror and reflecting on what had been said by the red haired guy.

When did everything change so drastically? It was just seven years ago when they went altogether to the festivals, when they laughed spontaneously, when they talked and drank and played. Yes, all of them had not only changed physically they had changed their inside feelings and thoughts. Maybe he had more of a masculine figure now, maybe her orange hair had grown further but she had changed to be a more sensible and righteous person. Who was he to be now? The same ghost she was back then? No. Mayama had never been that type of person, after all his ups and downs he never had a bad attitude neither a gruesome soul.

She dipped her fingernails and then the whole toe on the waters, letting the water wash away all of her deliberations. When she could not hold back her dejection she poured some water on her face and closed her eyes, falling asleep.

------

An anticipated sound woke her up from her sleep. The water was already cold but she was too inside her dreams to pay attention to everything that went by her side. Her body was taken out of the waters by a involuntary movement and once out of the bathroom, she looked desperately for the origin of the sound, finding it to be inside of her green bag and taking out the cell phone she tried to answer but she had missed the call already.

So she quickly returned to the bathroom and got a towel. Opening the closet, she chose the white flower dress Nomiya had bought her on some vacations to Hokkaido and combed her hair before going to make a little tour through the hotel now cooler headed.

Crossing the large hall were all the rooms from number 10 to 17 were located, she entered the elevator and went to the first floor so she could eat some dinner at the fancy restaurant. As soon as the as the doors opened the cell phone ringing was heard out loud and her hands quickly looked for it.

"Ayumi?" greeted a soft voice at the other side of the line.

"Nomiya?" She asked perplexed, "How are you doing?"

"Oh just resting from a two night work. I wasn't able to call you on Christmas because I was stocked on the design for a prestigious company but did you receive the letter?"

"Of course, thank you Nomiya I was very pleased," She smiled with pleasure when remembering the proposal and went red, "Sorry for not answering I was having a trouble here too."

Nomiya laughed for a moment and answered "I have a busy life but that doesn't mean I can't stop thinking of you," then he murmured with sweetness, "You troublesome woman."

"Wait I'm now the one who causes you troubles? Well excuse me Nomiya for being so painful" She spoke with sarcasm.

"Anyways how's everything going in Osaka?"

"In Osaka?" She had totally forgotten to tell him she was in Spain but as soon as she did that Nomiya would probably remember Mayama and get angry.

"Well yeah were else could you be right now?" He questioned a little bit strange by her reaction.

"Oh yes Osaka! I have been too busy to even recall the name of the place I live." Ayumi laughed nervously.

"You sound suspicious do you have anything hiding in you hands? Don't forget I'm visiting you this Friday."

"Ohhh" She said with an exaggerating voice, " I can't this Friday because I have to make some diligences in Tokyo, can we postpone it for next Friday?"

"I knew you were hiding something," The noise of the smoke being taken out of his mouth trespassed through the telephone, "It's okay with me but you will have to repay for the damaged caused."

"I swear I will but I have to go now okay?"

"Okay. Take care"

"I love you." She muttered and hanged the phone.

Her hand covered her face. She didn't like to lie at all but if it was to avoid any kind of problem it was better like this. She instantly went to save it but she could not even open her purse when she saw Mayama asking for something in the reception. She wanted to hide in something near her but unfortunately she was on the middle of the hall and by instinct she made an anxious face at the receptionist that pointed at her.

Those moments felt like hours, He was walking hurriedly with a brown raincoat in his shoulders and an aura of despair. Yes, in any moment now the fight would start and he would have to go the same way he came, she would go upstairs with no appetite and would damn him for being so stubborn. Everyone in the hotel would recognize me for 'the woman that made a scandal by shouting' and she would not dare to show her face the days to come, surviving only by the meals requested in the reception.

But she was found shocked when she perceived his strong arms surrounding her waist and maintaining her close. He smelled the fragrance of the perfume that evaporated trough her long orange hair and then Ayumi became aware of the fact that some dots of water trespass her dress. He was crying silently without moaning or sobbing, there were just some tears falling down his cheeks while he whispered,

"Rika is in the hospital."

----------

**Well this is everything I got to write for today, I hope I didn't bore you with so much writing, I wanted to make up for the late update **


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so inconsiderate to you guys! I published my last chapter last year and until now I have a new chapter? Excuse my rudeness and I hope that this chapter fulfills your needs, if not, I'm lost haha! Thank you **_**fallenmad, Kamui-chan sun lee. Sun ho, Twitz and Kakashizu **_** for your constant support and everyone who has put me on "Favorite stories" I'm really happy! **

**No more chit chatting! Let's go into the story!**

**Chapter 4 **

**Let's catch up to sunrise **

And what she would have longed to hear some years before, she was finally able to. The unmistakable sound the breaking of his heart pounded her from the long gone days that as a sudden shock of destiny, may have taken a burden out of her. The old part of her soul would have rejoiced in his disgrace but at the same time, I was too weak to acknowledge that dead or alive, Mayama's heart would only beat for those unraveling lips.

How pitiful she felt now as his eyes were flooded with tears and his arms held her tight, as if his same life was escaping from them. Why on earth could she fulfill happiness with other's sorrow? The aching in her heart came back in a slightly different way and all she could do to support him now was embracing him as he did. Calmly receiving the affection she didn't deserve from him, he also became to understand that he had obtained forgiveness and could attain the figure of the different Yamada as his sorrow savior. There were no words needed as the two had within each other the fragileness of emotions that could not be longer attained and Takumi allowed himself to drown in pain.

The time they were held close to each other could not be measured for it seemed as it was so natural to keep themselves warm inside the other's arms but then again, the world kept turning not much to their favor. Mayama knew well how risky it was to stay that way and after regaining consciousness of the world he smoothly retreated breaking all contact.

Ayumi smiled faintly at his eyes in a comforting matter and after a second or so she almost whispered, "Let's go for a walk."

Takumi nodded in agreement and took his glasses off to clean his face a little bit. He didn't cry a lot but some faint traces of tears had been drawn along his face. Both of them walked separated by a formal distance and by the time they traveled along the streets he could appreciate her body thoroughly. She had the same beautiful long legs, but her womanly figure had been transformed. As she crossed the streets, there was a certain aroma of sensuality arising from her but she unnoticed. Her hair had always been of that orange straight color but it seemed to match perfectly the form of her hips inside that loose and short white dress.

As if sensing his gaze, she turned around slowly and stared at him also. Her hands stretched out as if calling him out and she seated in a park bench behind her. The lighting post was just beside her, giving a pale image of the surrounding trees and the black of the night. He didn't understand what feeling of amazement arose between all the sadness and while slowing the pace he determined her for the last time. She waited patiently sitting on the center of the bench and without turning down his look, her lips murmured words unable to hear and her hands arranged her dress.

"Why did you come here?" Was the only thing that could come out of the lips of the red haired.

Ayumi had had quite a problem resolving the question since she was forced to come in the first place but when the news got to her, her unconsciousness yelled that he needed help. Of course she could not possibly tell him the real reason and she said the first thing that got into mind, "I was on a business trip to deliver some works personally and Morita told me the news."

'_It's the second time I repeat I know something when I don't'_

Mayama shook his head as if trying to remember something, "Oh yes…your business in Osaka. How's it going?"

"It's harsh and I barely have enough time to breathe" She sighted, "but I guess it's everything I ever wanted." '_Everything I wanted'_

"You know," She added after a long silence between them, "I still remember the day you went out to get a living here," She realized that she wasn't concentrating on the main point and stopped suddenly while recalling

'_The day, the hour and your face that time can never be erased. Not even if I had stoped loving you' _

He faced her as if asking for an explanation and she shook her head out of the thought, "Excuse me. Anyways did you pretend to continue this alone? I'm sorry to be indelicate with the situation, since I wasn't informed very well '_Damn Morita'._ but I'm quite grateful for bumping into your life in these circumstances."

Mayama slightly curved his lips and took another cigarette out of his pocket. Ayumi waited patiently for him to answer while looking at the spots of white smoke coming out of his mouth. She sighted and turned and to the moon. Maybe he was just rearranging words in his mind but the cigarette demanded too much attention and he seemed to have forgotten her company to go to a lonely place. It was just when she was to repeat the question that he began to talk.

"Yamada you have treated me very nicely but it's me who has become pretty nihilistic in everything." '_I hate the sun, the moon, my house and the streets. I'm unable to see things as before because I know she's going die_' His body curved to the front one of his hands – The one without the cigarette- and pressed his forehead in despair and resignation, "I know Rika is going to die."

In and instant, the atmosphere became heavier and she could swear the hyper sensibility on her body went on. The heart bumps, the air entering through her dress, her lips parting, his unstable breathing, the sound of his hair crisping down his face, the cigarette falling between his knees, the slight movement of the trees, her feet under the high heels, everything flowed into and out of her. Ayumi urged the feeling to go away because she could not longer stay quite but nothing came out. No word, no prayer, no consolation. He only hid his face waiting for reply and she instead, remembered every detail of the dying woman. Rika's brown eyes, her well shaped face, the short brown hair and her calm expression went vividly on her screen and blocked her vision. Her hands trembled and she touched her chest to recover and then sighted once more.

'_Why was it so shocking? I already knew there weren't going to be any beautiful answers but then again…'_ her eyes rolled to stare at his back, his hands, and his body. It wasn't the fact Rika was leaving this world, it was the fact Mayama went with her, slowly dying inside.

"What," She shook her head for the second time and continued, "What happened? She was so well with you the last time I saw her." '_Well of course,_' she sarcastically said to herself _' I saw her 7 years before'_

His hands went inside the red hair clearing all his thoughts, "An accident."

"An accident?" her eyebrows raised as trying to encourage Takumi to be more detailed. He took off his glassed and the traces of exhausting along his eyes were more visible. '_He clearly hasn't been resting'_

"An accident?" her eyebrows raised as trying to encourage Takumi to be more detailed.

"Yes."

"When did it happen?"

"One week before Christmas."

"Umm," The unknown sensation still remained and she massaged her front in a vague intent of disappearing it. "You were there?"

"No," His brown eyes once again traced the lines of her hair and spaced out repeatedly, "I was at home when they noticed me from work."

She concentrated at picturing the scene. Maybe a car crash, maybe intent of murder, a heart attack, a jump out of the cliff…She had ended severely wounded in the hospital and was fighting between death and life. Connected to several tubes that carried out the jobs her body could not longer finish. What a sad ending to a caring woman but wasn't there any possibility of living too? "If there's anything I can do to mend what's been broken"

"There's no need to" He answered immediately, "I have been solving this the whole time so there's practically nothing you can do." _'No. my bad there's nothing to be done…neither you nor I...'_

"It's no humanly possible," She sat next to his side once more, "I can delay my work if you want."

'_Well it's not that I have work really'_ she thought for a second.

"You cannot stop your life because of it," He said in a harsh tone while consuming the last part of the cigarette, "I'll handle everything." He repeated not only to her but to his mind in a escape to his fears.

"Baka!" Ayumi answered loosing her patience, "What's this strength all of a sudden? You come into the hotel crying and then you say you can handle everything by yourself? Get real Takumi," It was the first time she dared to call his name and he was surprised, "The things are out of your hands. Look at you; you can even handle the pain."

"I once learned from some men, the value of leaving things that made you feel pain behind," Her tone became serene and she attracted his face to her hands to caress his cheeks gently, "He held out his hands like this for me and told me to forget. Forget and begin to walk, stopping every now and then." Her blue eyes did not avoid him anymore as it was this same sweet compassion that man did to the image of her those days of sadness. Takumi was overwhelmed by her attitudes but didn't turn down the whole thing. The Ayumi seven years before would have been a different story and now made a woman in every sense of the word, he blushed lightly. Her lips seemed too close so she lowered her voice in an enchanting tone, "I know there's a chance of saving her but before saving her we have to save you."

XXXX

Her head hurt terribly as she tried to open her eyes to the light hitting her face. What the hell had she been doing all night?

"Not again," The orange her girl spouted as she remembered those art school days when she got drunk until she lost all conscience. Her fingers scratched her neck when she finally stood up looking for her slippers. She didn't even have the time to take of her high heels and her feet were aching. She stretched out her hand to lead the way to the bathroom but she fell with her bed covers lying on the floor.

"Ahh" was her only replied to anger she had right now. After the fall, her eyes where wide open and she could recognize this was her hotel room after all. Ayumi tried to force her mind to remember but her memories could only reach out until the bench last night. She had never been the type of woman to caress a man so easily, but her heart had been screaming out for it. Maybe he could have thought it was unnatural but she knew he needed it and as long as she was in Spain, she would be pleasured to help him in any way.

But she still couldn't get that far. The tears, the bench and then…oh yes! Then they had walked back to a restaurant were he treated her and both started drinking until late after midnight. Well maybe her more than him. The only thing she couldn't squeeze out is how she had ended in this bed again. What an embarrassment, she had to apologize first after seeing him but he had no plans of seeing her again. She looked for a letter but there were none. No message was left in the reception so maybe he DID want to handle things without her.

Ayumi got up and disappointed head to the bathroom and then dressed. It was now 2 o'clock in the afternoon but there was no appetite in her stomach. You could call it anxiousness but just thinking Rika was dying every minute and taking in her hands Mayama's soul, stole her hunger. She tried waiting patiently until he called while watching TV but she kept staring at the telephone in her room. Opening the curtains to view something else could help, but her thoughts were going to eat her sooner or later. She traveled to the bathroom, looked at her face, fixed her hair, came back and lay on bed, stood up, viewed the city and repeated the same process. Yamada longed for Nomiya to call and then held her cell phone for nearly half and hour to then give up in telepathy.

She recalled the letter he had last written her and searching through the two coats she brought and in the backpack, his letter appeared. It was a little bit rugged by the harsh contact it had inside the airplane and some parts of the ink had been ruined because of her eating over it every day before going to work but it was still one of her precious objects.

Yamada had memorized every line so she read out loud while she felt his voice coming out through the words passing by, _"Ayumi" _

"_Work has been hard for me also. Yamazaki keeps bothering me for refusing to celebrate Christmas with you in Osaka but I prefer to leave everything ready before going to your side, I hope it doesn't get lonely. The sand dunes I took you to are a great sight from the office and Christmas sales have been going up these few days though I even have time to go outside and take a rest. Are you also working the 25__th__? _

_It can seem unnecessary to write you a letter when I have the chance to call you but I feel that maybe these way things can be better preserved. After that late October my mind has been filled with thoughts of you and I have to realize that you have become quite of an obstacle to my concentration. Sometimes I think it's time to quit sleeping with a guy and establishing a normal place to stay with you. Would you like to? _

_It's just plans but I have to admit it sounds quite tempting those nights I imagine you with me and the sweet smell of your orange hair carrying us to another land…land of beautiful red lips..._

_Merry Christmas, _

_Nomiya." _

XXX

'_Land of beautiful red lips' _she frequently stated while resting her hands on the wooden bar of the bridge she was now watching the beach from afar. Time passed so quickly when she drifted off silently to see him in her imagination that night had fallen upon her and she didn't care. Wait, she did. Ayumi rolled up her sleeve with anxiousness and the clock marked 9:40 pm. What was she to do? Two nights had already past and no sign of Takumi had been seen. Everything was the same, waking up, taking breakfast, tour through Valencia, The beach…Asking the receptionist for any delivery, card of phone call message. She had gotten so used to asking that man for information that he was starting to get suspicious of her. He had probably thought '_Her lover dumped her'_ or _'She has no money to pay the bill'_ that the embarrassment of talking to him was evident. Well maybe she had been too persistent but sooner or later she was going to be driven crazy of Mayama's silence.

"Persistent?" The word came out impetuously, "When I have a man dying in life and a woman with a severe injury?" Her hands hit her cheeks repeatedly,

'_For god's sake I cannot be here…'_

"Not be here? Yes. I Have to leave" She started a short monologue, "There's just too much work to be done in Japan and I'm here _resting. _Soon Nomiya will find out I'm not in the country and would get mad at me, extremely mad. Things cannot go wrong here and there. After all, Takumi has no right to keep me tied up – as he usually does with everyone- I won't stop my life because of him. Yamada Ayumi tried to help him but he rejected so there's no point in struggling anymore. End of the whole damn story." Her lunges took out a heavy breath and she was about to burst in tears of anger.

'_Stay calm'_

Her legs rushed off the bridge and walked the two blocks to be crossed in order to get to the hotel. She smiled forcedly to the usual man resting on the chair in reception and decided to take the stairs. Her heart started rather roaring that functioning. The images from the past and the present were mixed in a rapid knack of her mind. She had lost all patience with Takumi and his attitude of superiority even when he was swallowed in despair. There was no reason to maintain a masquerade when you knew it didn't work out!

'_Thump'_

The keys were taken out of her jacket in an efficient act of advancing as humanly fast as possible and turned them furiously on the door knob.

"_I know Rika is going to die."_

She got into the bathroom and then came quickly out with her tooth brush and cosmetics out, threw them on the bed and opened the closet doors, also taking with her hands all the clothes piled up. Her eyes searched frenetically through the room for the bags and in a small corner near the TV she picked them up.

"_There's no need to"_

In revenge to his responses, she stuck everything with violence inside the suitcases and arranged her cell phone and the letter deep down it. She was starting to sweat faintly and so she passed her hand through her forehead in a fain attempt.

"_I was at home when they noticed me from work." _

Every single thing she was making now was fatuous but did she really care? Deception was to be left for later, Yamada had to go out of this room now or she will be shredding herself to tears.

"_Why did you come here?"_

The same process was repeated until she reached the hall and stopped to breathe for a moment. Why did she come here? Because she wanted to be the one who took care of him of course! Was it to irrational to comprehend?

"Ma'am are you going now?" a shy question was thrown out by the receptionist. He could feel her bad mood.

"Yesu," Ayumi closed her eyes for a moment and commanded her to remain stable, "I worudu liku to payu foru the service."

"Of course ma'am," The man typed her name and room on the screen and called the button over, "Toma sus maletas y llevaselas afuera que lo mas seguro es que este pidiendo un taxi."

"What?" She replied unconcerned thinking he was talking to her, "Don't worry I just told the buttons to take your suitcases outside because your getting a taxi to the airport." He translated and the buttons reached her bags with a cart to take them outside.

"It would be 1,300 euros please," he handed a paper for her to go through the costs and signed. She took out her wallet handed out the money and waved good bye without saying, "San kyuu."

XXX

She looked through the glass window of the taxi and gazed at the spectacular night view Valencia had. Surely she could understand how Mayama felt happiness while walking in Rika's side and how the city permitted his liberty for love fly around the air. He could be really an accomplished person while resting with her – she on his lap listening half asleep to his reading – on the parks and the beaches around. His red hair flowing with the air and the antique colonial buildings…

"_Yamada you have treated me very nicely but it's me who has become pretty nihilistic in everything." _

Nihilistic, Nihilism, abandon. The buildings passed almost unadvertised and she hid her face one more.

'_Leave, leave, leave him. Now'_

She stayed like that for what it seemed like an eternity in seconds and sank further into the coach of the back seat. She needed to get the airplane soon rather than stay a whole night torturing her. Morita's little jokes had gone too far enough to sink her in a burning exasperation. Ayumi remembered something that haunted her.

_His body curved to the front one of his hands – The one without the cigarette- and pressed his forehead in despair and resignation, "I know Rika is going to die." _

"Sir," she almost shouted, "Please leave me here. I've changed my mind and I'm staying a little bit more."

"Ok"

XXX

He woke up with the coffee laying on his lap completely cold. The glasses had been placed over the cupboard beside the stove and he widely opened his eyes to regain himself in the real world. He had been so exhausted these days that he could only afford a faint sleep with many interruptions in nightmares and insomnia. He rubbed his eyes and took of his shirt because he had been saturated in sweat all day. Finishing some works, going to the hospital, buying something to eat for now over two weeks, had taken all the energy out of him and he was pretty embarrassed for not calling Yamada_. 'She'll understand'_ He said a little bit dozed in sleep.

Takumi softly touched his cheek and felt her caress. Even now, two days after, had the scent remained permitting him to sight every once in a while and remember she had been there for him. He had constantly held a different image of her until that night. She seemed so mature and loving. There seem no consistence for his thoughts of a woman a little bit stubborn and fighter. Of course she had the same Aggressiveness in her blue eyes but it had been mixed with other components he could no longer understand. There was something, just something that told him he didn't know her well enough and that perplexed him.

"Ring," he heard outside the kitchen's door repeatedly, "Ring, Ring, Ring!"

His eyebrow rose, "Who is coming to visit me at this hours?" Mayama murmured to himself before opening the kitchen door with a new mug of coffee, some papers and adjusting his glasses. He left of the papers on a close table and crossed his arms after opening the door to receive a big surprise. Two suitcases where pushed quickly into the entrance accompanied by the orange hair friend. She had no good looking mood, in fact he could tell she had been furious with him but before he could apologized she slammed the door and replied at his gaze.

"I only came here to say that," she paused and avoided his face, "I'm living here for the time being even if you like it or not." Her lips shut closed instantly and her chest moved up and down in fatigue.

------------------------------

**I promise to publish the 5****th**** chapter sooner! Please review ^^ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again!!! I'm completely embarrased for my late update but I was tied down with other things until now. I hope the length of the chapter doesn't bore you :D Thanks for all of you who have been waiting patiently and had read my story, I'm very grateful to you! **

**This chapter is a daily view of how Ayumi and Mayama's relationships and feelings evolve, I hope this suits well.**

**P.S: I swear I will update soon ^^**

**Chapter 5 **

**The old ways come along with the old days**

She had to twist and touch her ankles several times during the night. As she had fallen accidentally in the sofa of Mayama's house while sleeping, a violent reaction from her body had sprouted and she had tried to ignore it several times in a foolish attempt to concentrate on what was important. Ayumi had even used high heels not suitable for walking the colonial facade of Valencia and she could clearly feel the pulsations it drove out when resting on a chair. However, she was grateful of resisting the desire to sleep in a moment like this. She was grateful that morning had come finally and she was grateful too of him being able to share this with her. Her eyes now contemplated his back in a fragile way of saying thanks though her movements didn't mean at all what she was thinking. She was exhausted both mentally and physically but she would curl up in her improvised -couch-bed- and sleep for hours to come. Well, until she heard him doing something oddly suspicious or hyperactive. Somewhere days before, she woke up to the sound of a door slam but could not detect the man's presence anywhere. It seemed he had silently walked off to smoke a cigarette under the moonlight sky, hallowing into his existence.

She had doubted to go outside but either way went to her bed again. She couldn't rest properly until she felt his footsteps along the wooden floor and the faint smell that cigarette brought from the outside. Most of the time she pretended to sleep soundly and she could sense a smirk go out from his lips as if he knew what her thoughts were.

"Don't exceed yourself too much Yamada," He demanded in a soft tone that surprised her inner imagination, "Exceeding?" She replied without getting the idea.

He sighted to his insides and the lips curved while paying attention to her hair, "We can go now. Next time I'll come alone."

"Don't get the wrong idea Mayama," her hands pressed hardly to the sides of the chair so she could stand up, "I haven't been able to take a good sleep these days."

"Yes, because you pay too much attention to what I'm doing," he took her black high heels lying in the chair and walked through the hall, leaving her behind, "Are you staying there?"

Ayumi raised her eyebrow, "That's true but you're still getting the wrong idea," she hurried to her side and took her high heels from his hand, "I cannot sleep because of the constant noises."

"What are you telling me?" he took out the cigarette package and the lighter from the black coat, "Even if you are staying or not in my house I won't interrupt my daily activities. In fact you- " He was interrupted

"That's what I thought you'd say," her walking seemed uneven every time she supported her left feet on the hospital's ground, "Once I get home you're not going to interrupt my dreams Mayama Takumi." Her chin held up to his sight, both challenging.

"Let's see if your can bear my work and the incessant smell of coffee and cigs."

"Humm," The answer echoed on her mouth and she prolonged it out the hall and into a park bench where she leaned to button her shoes and the sound slowly died. There she had made the shoes recover the same position sheltering the feet and mimicked to walk easily. Lucky, he was now not concentrating on her but on that solely window on the 3rd floor. This left her time to adjust a right position to walk and think of something to talk him out of the disturbing scenery. Maybe, deep inside, he thought that any moment would come when Rika would stare at him through the window with the same eyes he cherished and comfort his mind into a moment full of hope for the future but everything was in vain; she even had to accept there was no such future. He knew it too; by the way he looked up in a benevolent manner.

"So where are we going to take breakfast before going home?"

His eyes turned his attention to her and talked with a soon – to – be – broken voice, "I don't think that's a good idea."

Ayumi limited herself to a monosyllabic answer, "Why?"

Both brown and blue eyes stayed looking inside the other in an intense gesture. Yamada got to know where his answer pointed to, but refused to let him go, "You have not rested Mayama. If you want to you can stay with her tomorrow all day when you had taken a deep sleep."

"I can't." He was going to turn when she held his hand forcedly.

"Takumi, I'm serious. You _are_ going to rest."

And there it went, the second time she had recalled his name without any spot of embarrassment. Mayama was pretty shocked at sensing her warm reaching out for his hand but it did contribute to think reasonable. She held him in a secure intention of not letting go until he fulfilled her requirements and he didn't want to give up the idea but deep inside knew Yamada was right.

Takumi broke their contact and gave into her demand, "Just for this time Yamada, I really want to spend time with her as much as possible."

"You're going to but not today," She smiled by being able to convince him and took up again her last question, "Where are we going to take breakfast before going home?"

He didn't answer, "Oh! I know I'll cook you some"

"No." He adjusted his glasses and she glared at him, "I'll cook if that's the case."

Ayumi proceeded in a steady pace trying to disguise the walking, "I knew you guys hated my cooking!"

"We don't hate it; we just don't appreciate your exotic vision of food," He arranged his red hair and grinned, "What happened to your right ankle?"

She crossed her arms ignoring his question, "I'm not exotic; I want to improve the cuisine and believe me," one of her hands pressed her chest in self appreciation, "that living alone gave me a lot of practice and skill."

He rolled his eyes and forgot to insist on her ankle because he was pretty amused on her hiding something so visible. She stayed silent waiting for his answer while appreciating the dawn that overtook within the entire city with the sunrays following lightly the path into another day.

The people were starting to go out to their respective jobs while shaking hands with their partners in the streets and café's. The recognizable "Hola" that Ayumi heard in the morning was now beginning to be comfortable when as she started to appreciate the Spanish language. He stared to notice how Ayumi had been attracted to analyze people and decided to stay silent for a while. He wasn't inn for a talk at these times of the morning and inside these circumstances. Of course she had helped him a lot but he still wanted to stay alone sometimes and drown. Again, she had sighted and he understood the signal of –please stop thinking too much- written on her face. Her body started to tremble at the cold morning air traveling through her uncovered shoulder, her long skirt and boots. He laughed inside again because in the woman he thought he didn't recognize a single feature anymore, her foolishness still was current.

"Here" he took his black raincoat and passed it through her shoulders. Her body replied while making a little movement to his side and she came back from wherever she had been enraptured, "The mornings are cold so you should consider taking a sweater or something next time."

"Thanks."

XXX

"As I told you that day, I applied for a job two years after when I had grouped valuable experience for an interview," She rested her chin on her hands while giving off a soft sight, "I was all anxious, I thought I wouldn't be able to pass to the other side and just when that happened, they told me they had high hopes on my works!"

"So that's how it was."

"And so without thinking I was walking to my new work in the morning," Her voice echoed through his ears. As usually, Ayumi was the one doing most of the talking at the dinner table. He got used to the "I see" or "that's good" when she was cheerfully talking and mostly got accustomed to the sense of not interrupting her discourse so he could analyze deepfully various of her expressions and challenging emotions. This was totally weird in a way because he never thought she would arise from thin air after so many years and keep him company with her smiles. Things weren't so mismatched with her presence; the landscape didn't fade with great frequency, days weren't so harsh to endure. How could he explain the balmy atmosphere around her? She really was special…

"Mayama," Her gaze turned more severe but still amiable, "Why are you dozing off so easily?"

"Oh excuse me, I lost myself between your words," He replied to excuse himself and thought of teasing her some more, "Because your dialogue is just endless."

Yamada was ready to back off his complaints with a big grin of disagreement and temporary rage when he stopped her instincts ending his incomplete phrase, "It's incredible that you are still the same woman I met."

"What are you precisely referring to?" She said taking one piece of bread from the little basket in the center of the table and looking at him curiously from the corner of her eyes.

"Loud, effusive," Mayama placed his hand inside his hair trying to concentrate on what to say, "Is there anything more?"

Ayumi raised her eyebrow and grinned, "Well of course there are more qualities that you have not had the pleasure to discover." Her hand pointed at him while turning several times in circles.

"Are you pretending something miss?"

"Oh no! don't get me wrong Mayama I was just complementing your phrase with something better. You have always been bad with word adjustment." She laughed and he smiled.

"Well thank you Yamada, what do I have to name you now?"

She stopped for a moment remembering something with a hidden surprise in his words and proceeded to swallow the piece of bread she had taken. Her eyes turned for sometime and with an inviting tone she took out her dimmed thoughts into a meaningful combination of letters, "You can call me Ayumi."

He leaned on his chair and repeated the words in his head trying to get the message within them. There was this daring component in the message but yet it seemed so hidden that he barely got to fully understand its purpose. "Does it bother?" The blue eyes narrowed by trying to decipher his attitude.

"By no means," He forced his mind to find the answer to the triggering emotion in him, "Ayumi."

She closed her eyes instantly and with her mouth shut, she seemed to be grasping some deep desire unable to be translated. From her mouth came a simple respiration that poured her heart out and that her hair- playing with the wind- was encarged to enclose once again. The silence became inevitable and he attempted to trespass the mysterious sensation by closing his eyes too and feeling the wind banging through the restaurant's door.

"Excuse me," She timidly said regaining her conscience of the world. "It seems that your lack of concentration is contagious."

With that, the waiter arrived with the plates and after a short pause to stare at each other they continued to eat in silence. It was not uncomfortable or awkward, it was just silence. They had abruptly ended the conversation because they preferred eating with their deliberations and stare bluntly to the food in front them. What both of them didn't notice – Because it was rapidly done- was the exchange of glances that constantly invaded the table, done by her part with some mischievous tenderness and tempting curiosity by his. They had the frontiers of the view disappear only to outline their siluettes and the aroma of hot coffee in their hands mixed with the gush of the strange voices all around the room, temporarily drifted their minds into a subtle connection.

XXX

She sat on the sofa for a while, trying to look for new things to organize but Mayama was so clean that there was not a spec placed on the area it shouldn't be. Rika sure had organizing sense too – as she had seen her too many times at the office while doing some work- but somewhere in the entire apartment there was a natural feeling of hiding something between this compulsive act of being. Definitely, she wasn't the one to talk about these aspects but sitting there in company with the acoustic sound of household artifacts made her somewhat terribly alone. Ayumi wasn't the one to judge because she knew little or nothing about this singular pair but it was the same sensation she received while immersing in Rika's eyes and looking for a response she could never receive from her. It brought along feelings of frustration, deep connections with the past she could never atone and so, making an attempt to forget what invaded her head she looked for the same spot, the windows at her side.

The shower was now in function and she could hear it dripping heavily over Mayama's body fomenting him to space his mind, stealing that powerful possession of negative thoughts and events that now found fertility in his soul. Certainly it would be of use sleeping and recovering energy to transmit to that dying body in the hospital and then maybe destiny would be kind enough to bring her into his arms. Then again, the drops of water enrapturing his skin made her body abandon her to a rising echo of ecstasy. Soon as she thought it, everything replaced everything and she thought again, thought of him. There was no past, no emotions, no sadness, no happiness… it was only him in the bathroom and her wanting to feel it too. Wanting to be inside, sensing the constant motion of his arms below the crystalline shower, walking to embrace him without any shame of being him and being her, again.

She shook her head several times and begged for someone to stop her confusion. With that, the telephone rang some minutes after and she hurried to pick it up, placing a stop to her body reactions.

"Hero"

"Good afternoon is Mr. Mayama available now?"

"No, not righto at the moment but if would you rike I can teru him."

"Yes please, tell him we called from Giardino Fresco restaurant. We are going to make an inauguration for It's opening in 3 days and we would like to confirm his assistance since he helped us with the whole structure. We are so pleased with the result that we want him to see it decorated." She took a piece of paper and wrote down the information for her to be able to remember.

"I'll teru him about it. Sankyuu."

" Thank you lady."

She sat on the sofa, relaxed for a moment and released a small smile. She was thankful to the man who had called because it prevented a further explanation of her thoughts. Ayumi looked for her bag and took out a book she had bought recently at a local store and began to read. Almost when she had reached three pages she heard him go out of the shower and drop himself at bed so she stood up for a glass of water to drink and with her book in hands she knocked on the door. He responded faintly and she opened the door cautiously causing a prolonged shriek.

His glasses had been placed beside him on the bed and his pants were slightly loose without the belt. He had no t-shirt on; only the towel hanging on his neck and his body was stretched out along the width of the bed. He seemed almost asleep and his hair fell upon his front and eyes, making her unable to identify his true state. Yamada searched for an adequate place to sit on the floor and contemplated him without daring to talk. At this point her hands trembled transmitting her thoughts into something more obvious and she held her book high so she could distract herself from the impulse.

"What are you doing Ayumi?" Her heart gave a sudden bump and her breath soared.

"I'm reading Kafka on the shore." She responded being careful not to give her away by his voice. He stayed silent for a long time and her blue eyes continued her task along the papers.

"Can you read it to me?" He murmured with certain sweetness.

She placed down her book and gazed him for another moment, gave a sight and started. "_ The massive bank of thunderclouds crossed the city at a lethargic pace, letting loose a flurry of lighting bolts as if probing every nook and cranny for a long –lost morality, finally dwindling to a faint, angry echo from the eastern sky."_

In the end, he fell asleep profoundly but she kept trying reading out loud. It had been in vain the slipshod and serene voice she transmitted for herself because something within had triggered with such violence that no distraction could firmly put it to rest. If by chance he got to hear her voice somewhere in the distance of slumber, he could hear it's breaking from time to time, making a great effort to let her emotions die, let them wither with futility.

XXX

He didn't quite know where he was; or rather his natural instinct to determine a place had been broken when his exhaustion had blown up. He started to feel a little chill around his neck and shoulders but decided to open his eyes firstly, so he could see. It didn't make a real difference because the cloud of the night had already invaded the city. He stretched out feeling a tremendous weight on his back and looked for his glasses taking it long enough for him to hit his head with the lamp and his feet to stumble with something lying on the floor. Condemning the crime committed by the thing that stepped out in his way, he observed a book cover by his side. When he finall got to grasp the book in his hands, he could see a white hand stretching out with its fingers tightly clutched to it. His eyes followed the trace of the hand to discover a shiny fountain of orange hair flowing harmoniously around her face. She probably wasn't aware of her movements since her hand didn't make any signal of awakening the owner and her position too, had to be unconsciously made to tempt all those who laid eyes on her. Long legs bended to the side revealing more skin behind her skirt was the ultimated betrayal to a cute and innocent view he had held of her these past few years.

Her breathing, somehow uneven and meaningless, urged a strong and inadequate sensation to rise up inside the darkest yet most attractive point of his mind. Soon as his body had kneeled down to her side, he indulged in the satisfaction of taking a better glance of her sensual natural state of body. Coherence made his way out of the impulse and his hand reached out to touch her softly on the shoulder. As Mayama traveled throught her body with his eyes he naively catched a glimpse of a letter beside her chest, moving up and down with it and recognized almost instantly the owner behind the pulchritude and speed up Japanese characters hand written on the paper.

_Takumi Nomiya. _

He was disturbed for a moment or so but then again, there was no feeling inside his alterated chest. He was left only with an increasing vacillation, _him._ He thought of him once and then twice, forcing his memory to resolve the sloppy traces of a blank figure. He had shut down his figure completely but on the other hand, the blank figure had become complete and present in hers. Irritaded he carresed her neck with a fast but aggressive movement. Disdained by what his inner self refused to lie, he thought of being infatuated by the sudden blindness of reason when reaching her skin.

Ayumi perceived someone had been lightly touching her and a dim perplexition of mind caused by an agitated breathing apparently near her told her to wake up. Slowly, her fingers started to react until she could vaguely notice that the foosteps leaving the room in between the darkness, were his. She was incredibly uncomfortable and she didn't even had the chance to reflect about the perfect word to say when he had abandoned the room. Without giving it a second thought, she went after him but couldn't catch him.

"Takumi." She murmured in the silence and obscurity of the hall to be sure he had left.

Oh..yes , She thought for a moment, He had gone outside for a cigar again.

She wasn't convinced of following him this time but she realized that she hadn't given him the information about the inaguration party held in the italian restaurant. Reatreating she went back into his room and looked for the book where she had the name of the man who had called him. Ayumi didn't remember at all having Nomiya's letter in her hands when she fell asleep and felt a little bit embarrased when she found it laying on Mayama's floor. She couldn't find her book after looking for it for quite a while and gave up. She went into the hall again and looked for her green coat in the luggage. Arranging herself a little in front of the mirror just before the entrance she took the stairs and went out of the building where he found his siluette leaning on a light post with it's characteristic smoke spreading around.

" _The massive bank of thunderclouds crossed the city at a lethargic pace, letting loose a flurry of lighting bolts as if probing every nook and cranny for a long –lost morality, finally dwindling to a faint, angry echo from the eastern sky." – _He turned his view to catch her while walking to her side and handing her the book with the cigarette still in his mouth and the words vanishing into an echo.

She stopped in surprise and greeted his reading with a smile, "I see you heard my voice reading out-"

"You pity me don't you Yamada?" His voice had interrupted her with certain violence and resentment. She widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows unable to understand his drastic change of mood and being unable to respond to such question, she became silent.

He insisted again this time raising his voice tone, "You pity me don't you?" She looked up to see his eyes but the view had gotten darker because he was giving his back to the light post. Her hand arranged her hair behind her ears and she gulped in silence trying in vain to take out some words. He grabbed her from the sides and demanded, "Answer me."

"Excuse me?" She finally reacted shoving him off and he threw his cigarette to the floor stepping on it to relax a little bit.

"Rika is dying," He looked in his pocket for another cigarette and lighted it up, "but that doesn't mean you have to treat me too as the ill one. If you are going to be here bothering me with these types of foolish and hypocrite acts of benevolence I would prefer to pay you the trip back."

"Pity? Ill?" She grinned her teeth with sudden fury and raised her head to face him, "You think I gave a whole trip around the world just because I have that certain feeling you describe as benevolence? Oh please Takumi, the one who is being stupid is you."

"So then, why did you come here?" He asked and then walked closer to her murmuring with sarcasm, "To do a favor to and old forgotten friend? Sorry, that wasn't it," He tilted down his head, "to revive dead love?" He wanted to reaffirm Nomiya's existence in her life with the last question but it came out with a hidden flavor of jealousy.

Ayumi could smell his breath full of nicotine and she could feel his eyes anchored in her lips.

Dead love

"Love you say?" Her words sounded bitter, "Dead love?" She refrased her words with delicacy and added, "The one who asks such a question must feel in order to be able to ask it."

His nose, lightly touching hers could get a faint scent of vanilla. She had let out a deep breathing not of anger, but of despair. They had gotten really close and his front rested with her for a long time, now him being the one to remain silent.

"I'm going back."

"Where to?"

"To your house."

There she walked away with the book in her hands and didn't look back to his sorrow. He wanted her so badly to look at him with her blue eyes like she had done before. He desired to be once inside her breathing, enraptured in her hair, in her world. Without total comprehension he wanted to have her and the woman inside a perennial slumber.

**Thanks for reading! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok , so I submitted this like a month ago and the whole chapter appeared as if it was a big paragraph. I was a little annoyed since my computer is not working well enough due to some virus and before I knew it I was working hard again and unable to find a way to publish it .Thanks to all of you guys who have been waiting patiently for this chapter…at least I hope the length will compensate ******** And I'm really happy for all the support you continue to give me! **

**P.S: Any advice, comment or suggestion, go ahead and tell me!**

**Chapter 6**

**The past becomes present.**

"Hello."

"Hello, how are you?"

"Fine, two weeks have past. Where are you?"

"Resting at my house. I barely have time for sleeping. Work keeps me busy." There's an esporadic silence that turns awkward, neither the two of them talk and he feels it, she feels it too, the distance.

"I've been thinking about you these past few days. I went to visit a company for a new construction project and there was a forest nearby."

"Forest." She replied repeating bluntly at his view.

"Where are you?" He asked once more.

"In my house."

"I didn't know your house reduced your capability for talking." He talked with irony.

"I'm just tired. Tired and a little bit sick." She sights.

"Sick?" He is stranged, she doesn't reply. "About what?"

"The environment." She murmurs almost making her voice fade completely.

"You are gonna like it." He says rescinding to the place he found just two days ago, "The new atmosphere."

"New?"

"Yes when you get sick, most of the time you sleep for hours do you remember?"

"Yeah but what does that have to do with _new_?"

"That after recuperating yourself you seem like a new person. A new Ayumi."

She reflects on his saying and affirms in ascetic tone, "Maybe I'm truly sick."

"You want to change?"

"Yes, no…yes."

"What?" He interrogates with a bittersweet sentiment.

"I don't know because I'm still sleeping."

XXX

The door almost slams when she closes it, foolishly wasting her calm attitude. Ayumi doesn't figure it all out and confirms that following certain persons just misleads and confuses her nerves. New sensations? Has he started to feel them? Or was it just an odd drastic change produced by the instability Rika triggers with her hush?

She takes off her coat and places it on top of her sofa alongside her book, goes to the kitchen in search for coffee and drinks it slowly while resting on the dinning table. In a sudden movement she massages her front trying to restrain herself from a headache. She suffers one every time she has an excess of anxiousness or frustration. Nevertheless, ever since she got close to Nomiya, who had theses type's headaches too, had taught her how to decrease their action. Feeling much better but more anxious, she takes several sips of her beverage and walks slowly to the window she so much cherished grasping within the air, emotions and a deep aroma of coffee that create and image on her head. She looks down to see him once again and asks her heart what it is really that she wants. His red hair confuses her much more but she can't stop staring until she predicts – he has thrown the last cigarette to the floor – of his returning. She wants him to see her seeing him but he just turns away in the direction of the door and she feels his footsteps closer. Yamada stays quiet but then thinks it's a better idea to rest on the sofa and hurriedly tries to make herself comfortable. The light on the hall comes on and with it the man she most wanted to talk to. He looks at her directly, takes off his jacket and puts the keys on the table. She looks at him directly, evades his actions and continues to sip her coffee.

He wants to utter some words but when she evades his glances he goes to the kitchen drinks a glass of water, stares at the clock and the painting beside the clock and goes out to the living room again. She has left the cup on the floor and gives him her back in a deep intention of sleeping. He passes his hand through his hair trying in vain to talk and strolls around lousily before deciding to go into his room. Ayumi closes her eyes forcing herself to sleep so she could – in some way- stop thinking about him.

XXX

She hears the deaf sound of the car swiftly making his way through the streets, slowly coming in a louder frequency inducing her to wake up momentarily and feeling the seatbelt on her left cheek.

"We are we?" – She asks to the driver with her voice a little hoarse.

He slows down and turns off the car before turning to look at her. His brown eyes through the lens stare at her for a moment and modest smile appears on his lips. She in a sudden impulse smiles at him too and he takes her chin with his hands to murmur something on the ear she doesn't comprehend. She giggles and he bites her ear to then give her a mischievous kiss. He embraces her and she plays with his brown hair repeating his murmur. He moves his shoulders in response and caresses her neck by moving his fingers up and down and without noticing she falls asleep on his chest.

She wakes up again, and feels her hair obstructing the view, there's chill going around her body and she cannot recognize the room.

She calls his name.

"Get dressed," He replies to her call and puts his shirt on, "It's going to be a nice evening." He leans to her side and puts his jacket on her shoulders gently.

Then, he kisses her forehead lightly and goes out of the room.

XXX

Yamada takes her hand violently to her face without noticing and wakes up disturbed. Soon as she felt his kiss on the forehead she had tried to realize if it was real by touching its trace but instead hit her head in the process. It felt real; she thought for a second and sat down in the sofa with tiredness. Yamada leads her eyes into a direction that could tell her were she was and rests assured when she sees those two big windows revealing daylight. She hears her breathing and instantly knows Mayama is not in the house.

Remembering the face of the man who presented himself on her dreams, she runs desperately to her bag – just behind the sofa and against the wall – to search for her cell phone. She had forgotten to give him a call for the last two weeks and felt guilty. She was inclined to hear his voice but when she tried to reach him, the phone didn't have tone. What hour could it be in Japan right now? Most probably night. She took her cell phone and released a little sight promising to call back in the night but without giving out the hope of receiving his a little sooner.

She stretched out and went to get her mourning breakfast. As she looked in the storages for some food, there was little available to satisfy her hunger and so she decided to take a shower first before going out to buy some groceries. Ayumi went into the visitor's bathroom saw her image reflected on the mirror and detailed her blue eyes, tired to be forced in dreams. She slid the shower's door in order to open the water valve but as soon as water was starting to go out, she recalled her desire of being inside Mayama's bathroom with Mayama itself. For now, maybe there wasn't going to be no man to accompany her but the odor would be just enough to fulfill her inner whim.

**Without any approvement she walked stealthily through Mayama's room – careful enough to leave everything as it was- and took off her clothes. Turning on the light she left her cell phone on the shelf next to the shampoos and walked inside the shower that was located in one of the sides of the big room. Indeed, almost instantly she perceived his smell in every corner of the white walls and as the water rushed out to wet her body, she sniggered to prove herself how good and bizarre the situation alone was. Again and again she rubbed the soap on her body so his smell could penetrate her skin and she could feel it closer. What did it matter? She wasn't angry at him at all, she was angry at herself for not being able to suppress something so obvious and yet forbidden. It didn't matter if he didn't feel the same because either way it wouldn't cause her tempestuous feeling to fade. He had someone, she had someone so wouldn't it just be a temporal and ambiguous attachment? Along these lines, she could permit herself to have **_**something **_**unharmful and short with him. They were old enough to stop it at any time and even so she had always wanted to **_**play.**_ **Play, play, play- Her mind repeated several times with a dim echo on her head. What the hell was she saying? She shook her head and tried to calm down her arousing feeling of thirsty imagination. Of course she couldn't do this to Nomiya, putting aside their relationship, their affection and their memories, betraying him as a man was not to be made. He had brought her happiness so could she afford to take his? At the very least she didn't even know if Mayama wanted to **_**play **_**with her also, so she couldn't assume a feeling that wasn't shown. ** "**Ayumi, where are you?" Her heart skipped a beat, the front door closed and she hurriedly closed the valves inside the shower to look for a towel near her. ** "**Yamada?" He pronounced her name again. ** **At this point, Ayumi hurried up to go outside the bathroom but accidentally stumbled with one of the many things inside his room. When she fell down she found a plan neatly folded underneath his bed. Maybe it was her sudden curiosity and anxiousness that made her find out his plans but either ways it could be one of the excuses she needed for when he came into his room. Unfolding them, she recognized Rika's handwriting. It said:** _Adarzo construction Plan: started on November 23, Due to January 23._ _Hotel complex on the outskirts of the city, Asiatic decoration._ **She extended it on the floor and saw the traces were incomplete in most of them. Thinking back she calculated that it had been started just three weeks before Rika's accident and five weeks before her arrival to Spain so it seemed this was their last project together and one of the biggest ones. The building structures were familiar to her since these past seven years she had helped Takumi to carry out some projects and with it; she had learned a few things about arquitecture itself. ** "**I was looking for you." He interrupted her as the door hit the wall and the smell of cigarette came flooding in.** **Her wet hair dripped in her legs and she stood up to face him. With the excuse of fixing her towel she used her legs and hid the plans underneath the bed again, "I'm sorry; I had to use your shower."** "**Is the other one not working well?" He asked while scratching his hair and avoiding her view.** "**I don't know." She answered and touched her hair while thinking of something to say.** "**I will fix it." Mayama left some bags he had on the floor and went outside of the bedroom to the visitor's bathroom. ** "**You see Takumi, I just felt like going inside your shower," She murmured to herself while picking up with one hand the bags and sustaining her towel with the other. She passed sideways to where he was and went into the kitchen to arrange the food he had brought. After mature consideration, she returned to tell him that she just wanted to take a bath in the other bathroom but got late enough to see Mayama turning the water valve all the way. ** "**No!" She shouted when entering the bathroom but he was almost drenched. ** **His glasses fell down and he turned to where her voice was heard. She hurried and opened the shower to close the valves but suddenly stopped when she saw him wet. He had only a white dress shirt and some blue dark jeans that drenched in water detailed his torso and legs. He passed both of his hand through his hair and kept his cigarette on his mouth with his eyes closed due to the intensity of the water. Ayumi slightly blushed at her satisfied imagination coming real in the present view and stepped inside too so she could be in front of him. His hand stretched out to look for the valve but touched her chest accidentally and retreated in surprise. ** "**Yamada?" He called her name and opened his eyes to see her.** **She smiled and stayed quiet to his remark. He raised his eyebrow and tried to stretch his hand into the right direction without touching her but she got his hand and held it between her hands. With this, Ayumi got closer to him enough that they could feel their breathing. She opened her mouth to tell him something but wasn't heard. He gave a step closer and she stood still waiting for an answer. Both of them remained in silence looking at each other and without Mayama noticing, Ayumi pulled her hand back and closed the valves. She then turned back and went outside the bathroom leaving him alone. ** "**Look," She opened the door once again and offered him a towel, "Dry up meanwhile." ** "**Thanks." He replied staring at her and her curves visible due to soaked towel when she walked out.** "**Oh, I forgot," Ayumi returned to glance at him, "I just wanted to bath in another shower." She grinned and the door closed. ** **XXX** **The woman had enjoyed it, the water, his body, her breathing and their closeness. He was estranged to such level that he didn't even dared to ask her something about what she had done or why she had done it and pretended to act as if nothing had occurred. It was ok, as long as she still kept inside those moments and followed his play. ** "**Takumi," He raised his view from his plate and waited for her question, "Have you done any project recently?"** "**No, why do you ask?" He took a drink of soda and continued to eat.** "**Oh just for curiosity," She paused for a moment, "didn't you have any project before Rika's accident or were you planning on giving a little Christmas break?"** "**We were planning to go on a trip." ** "**A trip," She stated and stood with her plate to place it inside the dishwasher, "That's strange."** "**Strange?" He inquired her affirmation.** "**Don't take it the bad way; you are workaholics so why would you take a break?" She wanted to corner him so he could spill out some information about the plans. ** "**Actually, we were finishing one before going on a break," He finally spoke with the truth, "but I cancelled it after Rika's hospitalization."** "**Why?" She asked while taking out some more soda from the fridge.** "**Because I don't think it's a good idea to continue forward with Harada design." He finished eating, placed the napkin on the table and left the room.** **She followed him while opening the can of soda, "Do you plan on leaving Harada design?" ** "**Yes." He walked without turning back.** "**Look at me Takumi," Her hand that now rested in his shoulder, pressed harder so he couldn't move much but he still gave her his back, "Damn I told you to look at me!" She pulled his arm and he finally turned, "Why on earth are you gonna stop?" ** **He looked at her with hidden fury, "You are going to stop because of **_**her**_** Takumi?" ** **She insisted, "You **_**are**_** going to stop because of her?" Ayumi grabbed his face with her hands and barely shouted, "You are aren't you? Answer me!" ** "**Yes I am!" He shouted back at her and released his face from Yamada's hands aggressively, "I'm not going to continue anything unless she comes back!" ** **Ayumi narrowed her eyes and kept her face close to his, "You can't do that!"** "**Yes I can." He answered. ** "**No, you can't," Her teeth grinned, "You can't stop your life to wait for something that can probably not come back."** **She lowered her head and bumped her shoulder intentionally with hers before leaving to the kitchen. He remained on the same position for a while still in anger and then retroceded to leave again. The echo of the loud sound the closed door behind him left a temporary hollow silence in her mouth. She had been impulsive in her remarks but they were the correct ones to make him conscious of how he was loosing the thread of his life. Hate her all he could but she could not be undisturbed watching him wait for something invisible. ** **Ayumi sighed and even so decided to continue an idea she had planned since she found out of the Adarzo project lying on the floor. If all of her years near Nomiya could be placed to trial she would have been able to finish those plans but would she really do them?** **With her cup on her hands she reassured by sight seeing from the window that Mayama had gone completely so she could continue her plan without any inappropriate interruption. Hesitant she picked them up from their resting place and took them again to the dinner table. There were at least twenty different plans and she began to separate the complete one from the others. She revised several times the ones that had information and tried to apply it to the ones who had been left unconcluded. It was a big project to be done so she tried to follow some base standards for the building construction. When she felt ready enough to start tracing, she searched for pencils in some of the cupboards in the living room and found them inside Rika's night table. ** **XXX** **He finally came back from the hospital and most of the lights inside the apartment were off. Thus, it was rare since Ayumi liked to keep each and every one of the lights on for company. He didn't know how to talk to her because of her harsh treatment. Of course Anger had passed but the pain inside the word's meaning still remained because he knew of their consequences. Leaving Rika behind would mean leaving everything from the past behind and start again, without her in the future. ** '_**Had she gone out of the apartment?' **_ **A dim light appeared and relieved by it he followed. Takumi didn't feel like entering so he saw from slot Ayumi's back working hurriedly on something. Her hands moved steadily and she made some affirmations to herself. For an instant she stopped to drink a glass of water and he was able to catch a glimpse of some plans above the table. He concentrated his view and got to recognize the twenty plans all over the room. He returned to the door in some nostalgic feeling and again started to feel anger. Those plans weren't made for her to touch. He didn't want anybody but Rika itself to finish the Adarzo project. ** "**So that was the reason she asked for them today with such urgency." He muttered confused. ** **Lighting another cigarette he left the door opened and went out to smoke in the corridor. She was there inside completing something that wasn't made to complete so to maintain a common past untouched. That was the reasoning behind it all, the plans that lay now in Ayumi's hand were his will to stay and wait or stop and go and he had decided just before Yamada scolded him to stay and wait. Ayumi wasn't the deal. He was the deal, his life was the deal. ** **Leaning on the wall he gradually slipped on it with both of his legs widely opened and one of his hands rested in his legs with the cigarette between its fingers. He didn't have the courage to neither interrupt her or to continue with it so he just heard her from afar moving his head back to look into the darkness and the light periodically. ** **Shortly after it was past midnight, the sounds had stopped unexpectedly. He was curious enough to come inside the apartament and close the door with precaution. The light was still illuminating the kitchen and after seeing no Yamada around he opened it. ** **The plans were still everywhere but she had finished successfully some five or six of the other ten that had been completed. He took one in his hands of the several that she had accomplished and found out a great skill. He recalled that Nomiya had been with her and found it no surprising she could have learned something from his constant works. She was on the level of an apprentice but nevertheless Nomiya could not have taught her better with how demanding his attitude was. Minor mistakes to be corrected here and there but her analysis had been pertinent enough. He picked up the plans left to complete and glanced at the whole room to seek for the author of the night's hard work. Naturally she was in one corner of the kitchen lying on the floor asleep. He rolled his eyes and observed repeatedly the plans above the table. Picking up some blankets from his bed, he placed them over her body so he could watch at her most of the night and gazed at his Adarzo construction. ** "_**You can't stop your life to wait for something that can probably not come back."**_ **He played with the pencils and with several pauses and reflections began to finish and correct the project. Takumi was reluctant at times but then as he remembered the woman sleeping on the floor who had made his work for his sake he forced himself to persist. He drank several cups of coffee and was mostly finished before seven in the mourning stumbling then, all the way to the sofa and falling asleep from fatigue. ** **XXX** "**Hello we call from Giordano restaurant to remind you of the inauguration party taking place tonight. I hope we can see you present there."The voice talked through the message recorder and he gestured unsatisfied from his lack of decent rest. His hand lazily stumbled over to get his glasses and he received the sunlight with pester. ** **Takumi rubbed his eyes and yawned while making his way to the tape recorder, "Hello we call from Giordano restaurant to remind you of the inauguration party taking place tonight. I hope we can see you present there." The message repeated and he tried to think back to that restaurant. It seemed the construction projects that started on October had been delayed and its inauguration had been postponed until now. Rika was amused with attending but now that she wasn't in any condition to.** **The clock alarm indicating the evening began its call and he surprised himself of how late it was. At this hour he had to be on the hospital eating lunch while resting alongside Rika. Yes, he had to go there as fast as he could, not only for her but for him. Amusement had now passed down –there were remote chances of seeing her brown eyes stare at him infinitely like she had done that night- and he went with the urgency of completing a journey. A journey he had not stared to change until Yamada's arrival and that he was afraid to loose with what had happened last night. ** **Hurriedly he looked for his shoes – lying on the most faraway place of the living room, near the lamp- and the raincoat – hanging on a broomstick alongside the kitchen's door. The orange hair woman slept soundly on the floor giving constant sights and disgust faces. Maybe she had started to notice the cold rising through the blankets and into her bare skin…** **XXX ** **Her neck that was now twisted to one side had begun to ache with a certain chill. Her grimace was clear, the sleep had not been pleasant and she had to continue what she had ended last night so abruptly. The urge in its highest level made her wake up with a bump, realizing she was still alone working. Today had a peaceful and quiet beginning, different to the other ones she had lived. There was no repressive feeling inside the house, the sunlight came all the way from the windows and the warm air had protected her for a long time. His scent was all over the place- Tobacco mixed with men colonia and some hospital odor- or at least she had felt it dimly. He had returned last night and hopefully – full of anger- had avoided the kitchen with the lights on. Doubtfully and to her surprise, all of the plans had been completed. Hers had some mistakes in blue corrected and the other had been rolled up neatly above the first ones to be easily visualized. ** **Stumbling and opening the door with apparent lack of energy, she timidly searched his body on the sofa but could only smell the presence he had left behind. She sighted, Ayumi had a hidden terror in scolding or fighting him again because of his brown eyes bursting inside her all types of sensations. Instantly she turned again and grabbed the cell phone on the table into her hands. There were no missed calls or at least the name of the person she wanted to hear about. When he had not rested in several days and finally finished work he usually turned off his phone to be able to sleep for the other next days. That had been her salvation since he wasn't noticing that she had been out of the country for three weeks now. What was she going to say when he asked if he could go to her apartment to pay a long awaited visit? Thinking back just produced her more ache so she prayed for him to be captivated and absorbed by his labor enough to ignore her for a little while... if by chance he got to know about her absence, then she will have to be sincere and explain. Takumi and she were now reunited friends. ** '_**Reunited friends' **_ **Her mouth led up a sarcastic laugh. They were friends until now but with her sentiments going back and forth wildly she had begun to confuse sides. There was this strange longing to see him again and even though she knew it wasn't correct, it was correct. He had agreed indirectly by completing the plans and she felt in no condition to stop. Either way, as she recalled her university years she realized something had changed with her feelings. It was no more a love sickness that invaded her body but a warm sensation that was tempted by his inability to move on. Was she craving for something behind him?** **XXX ** "**5 o'clock huh?", He observed his watched and placed his hands inside his pants. ** **There was a light cold breeze passing through his hair as he watched outside the living complex and the sun was visible behind the glass windows, spilling an orange sunset along the city. He had searched for this type of household for more than three weeks and finally when he had set an eye on it, a dim compensation had been found. He grinned and the long doors opened and man came walking his way. ** "**Sir, are you looking for something?"** "**Yes," He opened his coat and took out from its inner pocket a package of cigarettes, "Do you have any apartment which has a direct view to the wheel?" ** **Xxx** **The crowd filled the city with a dense mixture of aroma, accents, culture and shallow happiness. The night lights were starting to appear in the scenery and the concrete stumbled constantly by the movement of people that also made the sky tremble with a pleasant dark purple color. ** "**Nee Mayama is there any wheel here in Valencia?" Her voice was soft and clear. After a long silence she had talked and he replied with a nod. He was still confused. ** "**Would you be so kind to take me?" Her mouth released in the chilly atmosphere a white smog and avoided direct naming by plain courtesy…She was still shy with the last nights events.** "**Now?" His voice was soared due to the lack of any decent drink. ** "**Yes," She rubbed her hands and looking inside her purse she took out a bottle of water, "Here." She handed it to him. ** **He drank slowly and turned to look directly at her, she avoided his gaze and he inevitably smiled. "Ok. Are you in for a walk?" ** "**Is it too far ahead?" Ayumi passed a hand through her hair and arranged it in a ponytail, still searching for something on the floor. ** "**No just eight streets away from here." ** **She nodded and threw at him an innocent smile that hid in between a nice rose color on her cheeks. ** **They stayed silent again. It was too much of a shock for him to be talking to the same person who had yesterday confronted him with such fierce cerulean eyes. There was a change on their playful hospitality that had turned to something awkward and bloomed unconsciously an interesting attractiveness to soundless serenity. Her steps were by now a little more regular even though she stopped several times with the excuse of resting her back – battered with the kitchen's floor -. He offered her a hand sometimes but she quickly denied it saying things like "I can do it" or "its okay". Maybe her left feet had gotten a quick treatment and inside her boots was ongoing a healing process. ** **The more the walked the less people there were, they all disappeared easily in the city's facade and many entertainments. Soon enough, they were really enjoying a whole speechless scenario. Various stars illuminated the sky and the moon was hidden in between the grey clouds. The Theme Park made its way out of the daily structures and stood with a highly illuminated atmosphere. She led out a sight and the bright reflections outlined her delicate factions. There it stood, big and with colorful rays a big Ferris wheel with its respective compartments mostly left alone. ** "**Do you remember?" She broke out with a melancholic voice.** "**What?" He adjusted his glasses and glued his eyes on her siluette, her hands were shaking. ** "**The day I – I mean – when we went to a trip with Hagu, Morita, Takemoto and Hanamoto –sensei." ** "**Oh, you mean the day you weren't able to feed the giraffe?" ** **She giggled, "Yes. That we went inside the Ferris wheel alone."** **He stayed silent, "Lets ride on it."** "**Wait," He finally snapped, "You want to go in there?" ** "**What else did we come here for?" Ayumi ran and called him from the distance, "Don't stay there, come. Come" Her voice seemed demanding.** **He shyly walked to her side and opened the blue compartment. As they both went inside, it moved heavily from side to side and they sat with difficulty. He turned to look at her and she was laughing with the characteristic rose on her cheeks. Smog came out of her mouth once again and with some constant creeks the compartment started moving. ** "**Has Rika ridden here with you?" Traces of her laugh were still seen in her mouth.** "**No it may be dangerous for her condition."** "**I guess a little fun wouldn't hurt anyone or will it Takumi?" Her hands rested calmly on her thighs and the red wine skirt hissed in the night breeze spilling her scent all over the place and outside the metal gaps, "You should bring her here."** **He stared at her and opened his mouth to utter some words, "Nomiya took me to the Ferris Wheel in Tokyo one day." She added carelessly.** "**Nomiya." He repeated and she smiled again. In her eyes appeared his image, "My boyfriend." She stated.** **It did not have a special significance but her voice changed completely with those words. He rested his back with a heavy bump on the wall and hid his hands under the coat pockets heading his view on the scenery behind Ayumi's head. He saw her sleeping soundly again on the floor and the letter beside her chest, moving up and down. Pressing his eyelids to suffocate a triggering emotion he left everything for a moment and sank into a similar world, were there was nobody but him on the Ferris wheel. ** "**That's good." He replied almost loosing the thread of the last word. ** "**That day when you and I were alone like this, I wished for the time to stop eternally." Movement he thought. Years ago, with a vague hope she tried with her imagination to stop movement but was now initiating it inside him…. Their cries were much alike. Their destiny was much alike.** "**The construction plans why did you search for them?" Mayama led out the question he so eagerly wanted answered.** "**Because I wanted you to complete something you had undone." Ayumi affirmed with her expression now more serious. Faint wrinkles appeared on her forehead. ** "**What are you exactly referring to?" He curved a little.** "**You know what I'm referring to," Ayumi's lips hardened, "We're on the same line."** **They were by now on the top of the wheel. Both of them looked outside the gaps indefinitely. The hiss continued and a far away Hispanic melody got into their ears that neutered everything. Outside some words were murmured and kid's voices eagerly interrupted in between the stands. She bit her lip and shook her head with impatience moving her body and standing up to sit on his side. He continued resting his back and observed her by the corner of his eye. ** **The breeze moved her hair released from the ponytail and made it overflow around her shoulders. He closed his eyes once again and now watched at her directly as her eyelashes clashed silently. Her chest violently lifted up and he felt warmth in his hand, the warmth of her. ** **And so, they stood still watching a distant star while holding hands in the Ferris wheel. **


End file.
